Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Warren Pierce

Apparently I have an alias: Warren Pierce.

I was returning a call from the doctor's office this morning and when the receptionist asked my name, I said it.  

Lauren Peters.

I expected her to say, "Hold on," or "One moment please," but something different happened entirely.  Either I had a momentary identity crisis and said Warren Pierce, or she heard Warren Pierce because her response was, "Warren Pierce?"

Uh. No?

I cleared my throat and clearly stated "Lor-ren Pee-terrs."

Thankfully, she got it right that time.  How embarrassing.

This isn't the first time I've (apparently) mumbled my name, either.  Every once in awhile (usually if I'm in a hurry and on the phone) I do not enunciate properly and it comes out sounding less than clear - and more like Warren than Lauren.

There was this one time when I said my name face-to-face with a customer service man at a Southern Illinois Mediacom.  Apparently that day I not only sounded like a Warren... But I looked like one too.  The dude was looking at me and still thought I said Warren.

And now, I can't even say Peters correctly?  I don't know what's wrong with me.  It's not like either of these names is phonetically challenging.  Right?  Right.

After this happens and I wonder why, I cannot help but go back to two stories from my childhood as a possible reason for the mumbling mess.

The first is when my parents (or any adult) would ask me my name and our conversation would go something like this:

Adult: What's your name?
Me: Woowen
Adult: Woowen?
Me: Nooo, not Woowen. Wooowen!

The second is that my favorite movie was An American Tale.  The villain in the movie is Warren T. Rat.  My favorite Uncle Dave started calling me Warren T. Rat for reasons that are unknown to me*.

*I've been told I was a tad precocious and slightly obnoxious but I like to think Warren T. Rat was a term of endearment.  But probably not.


So considering all this information... Maybe I'm destined to be stuck with a Warren Pierce alias?

Geesh, I hope not.

Take Luck,


  1. This made me giggle out loud. Too funny!

    Happy Spring, Warren!

  2. Uncle David most definitely called you that as a term of endearment... and maybe by then you were actually able to pronounce your name correctly - but it was so cute when you used to say Woowen, and you'd get sooooooooooo made when people would repeat that back to you. I think that made it even cuter when Kennedy couldn't say Lauren either and you became Noonen. And don't forget -- your eye doc can't pronounce your last name for some reason either. Too funny!

  3. Haha! Woooren!! :)
    Jena with one N is also impossible to pronounce. I loathe the name Gina because of it. But yeah peters? No excuses.

  4. This was really funny! And that's an epic movie right there!


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