I had intentions of writing and posting this post on Sunday, when I actually hit the 20 week mark. But this week has been incredibly busy and somewhat chaotic, leaving me feeling more exhausted with each passing day. I'm pretty sure we retrieved the Spawn of Satan (disguised as Camden) from daycare yesterday - so we all had an early bedtime. Anyway, here we are (as I'm getting closer to 21 weeks) and I'm excited to think that I am halfway to being done with this pregnancy!
Is Jon Bon Jovi singing in your head, or just mine?
So far, this pregnancy has flown by. I don't know if that's thanks to the craziness of holiday season or if this time around I'm chasing around a toddler-sized tornado? Maybe it's both. Life in general just seems to be moving at warp speed these days and I can't imagine it's going to slow down once a little ladybug joins our family.
Other than feeling run down at the end of the day and really run down at the end of a week, I feel pretty darn good. I feel big (especially when I look down), but then look in the mirror and realize that I don't look as big as I feel. Not yet, anyway.
My boobs feel gigantic already, and for someone who has been small-chested her entire life, this is a big (ha!) deal. I'm hoping this means that my body is preparing itself for a successful breastfeeding journey. I think some people would consider the six months I breastfed/pumped to be successful, but it was crazy stressful and I was personally disappointed. I don't think I had the best approach to feeding him and pumping in the beginning, and once I went back to work - my supply tanked. I tried eating my weight in oatmeal, drinking insane amounts of water, and taking the supplement fenugreek to try and boost my supply. I held onto breastfeeding for as long as I possibly could (and longer than I should have for my sanity's sake) - and in the end, the stress won and we switched to formula. It took a huge weight off my shoulders, but I had wished very much that my journey with breastfeeding would have lasted a little longer. For the record, I have nothing in the world against formula, and truly believe that it doesn't matter if you choose to feed your baby breastmilk or formula (your child, your choice!). Anyway, we shall see, and for now I just get to shop for new (ahem, bigger) undergarments.
Stepping into the too much information zone - I have never been a gassy person, until now. I don't know how, but somehow I am able to keep the gas controlled at work and then once I get home - it's like I don't even want to be in the same room as myself. Ryan says it was like this with Camden's pregnancy too, but I'm just not sure I believe him. He must be delusional from the fumes.
I feel like I get up to go pee at least 38 times a day. And twice overnight.
I'm feeling the baby move around more consistently, which is a feeling I will never get tired of (until later when I'm confident she will start wedging herself up under my ribs like her big brother did). She is most active after lunch and when I'm laying down reading before bed. At least this is when I notice it most. Ryan has been able to feel it a few times, but I'm excited for the movements to get bigger so Camden can feel her too. Something tells me he's going to freak the eff out.
We didn't discuss names too much prior to knowing if the baby was a boy or girl. I had been keeping a running list in my phone - figuring we would use a boy's name that was leftover from our unused top choices from last time, and I would take note of any girl's name that even remotely peaked my interest. After hearing that it was a girl and letting that sink in, I started rattling off the list to Ryan, feeling confident that he would at least like a few. Ha, joke's on me. (What was the first rule of leadership? Assume nothing? I really should learn to grasp this concept.) He either immediately said "no," or grimaced and said "eh," to every single name I suggested - and my range of styles/types of names was super broad. Given this, you can imagine my surprise (shock) when on Tuesday night when he randomly said, "I have a favorite name." I also love the name, so we'll see. I'm not ordering any monogrammed baby towels just yet.
I remember having a lot of fears last time, mostly having to do with uncertainties - the what's, when's, and how's of it all. This time I have fears, but they feel different. I feel like I have an idea of what to expect with labor, delivery, the dreaded post-birth (all while knowing that things could be completely different!), and taking care of a newborn baby. But what I fear most is how Camden will feel and react to having a baby sister, and sharing his time with Ryan and me. Right now, he's as excited as a 2-year old could be and understands about as much as I would expect. I can just see how upside down his little world will become when his baby sister comes home to his house, is being held by his mommy and daddy, and doesn't leave.
Anyway, that's life at the halfway point. I'm hoping to reflect more every few weeks and regale you with the super exciting details of my pregnancy.
I know you are super excited.